Feels like I'm looking for a reason,
Roamin' through the night to find my place in this world.
Not a lot to lean on, I need your light to help me find my place in this world, my place in this world. ~Michael W. Smith
This is the fifth of a seven part series taken from my daily journal while
in Ahuachapan, El Salvador participating in a mission trip with the LaGrange
District of the North Georgia Conference of the United Methodist Church.
Day 5: 2/20/2013
Luis
The morning was slow for me. Not much to do. What's that old saying? "An idle mind is the devil's workshop"? Well, the devil was working on me today.
I spoke to James on the phone yesterday for the first time since leaving on Saturday. Hearing his voice just ruined me. The homesickness began to set in. I miss him and the children terribly. I began to doubt if I made the right decision in coming. After not sleeping extremely well, I woke up a little sad and missing my family even more. Part of me was wishing I hadn't come. Why did I spend so much money that could have helped my family? Sounds familiar, eh? Hasn't the devil already used that trick on me? Why am I still listening?!?
One of the sweet abuelas
The morning dragged on and on and I really felt useless. I couldn't paint because the fumes made me feel so sick if I were around them more than about 20 minutes. Other small groups had been farmed out so there at the church I sat. Thinking too much. Allowing Satan to invade my thoughts.
Jenny
I made my way through lunch, and then had my scheduled 30 minute prayer shift. Amazing what God can do when you lay your troubled heart before him. As I poured out my heart to God about all that was in my head, I felt lighter and more at ease. I lifted up specific prayers for each individual on our team, too. By the time my shift ended, I was in a better state of mind and heart.
Jenny, Clenda, and Riley
As I came out of our makeshift chapel, it was time to set up for bible school. Before long, the children were coming in and once again passing out hugs. It was therapeutic to say the least.
I AM supposed to be here. I have a place on this team. I do still miss my family so much it hurts, but I need to be here.
I cannot let Satan rob me of the joy coming out of this trip. I need to be here!
This is the fourth of a seven part series taken from my daily journal while in Ahuachapan, El Salvador participating in a mission trip with the LaGrange District of the North Georgia Conference of the United Methodist Church.
Day 4: 2/19/2013
Getting our supplies in order for pipe cleaner station
Today we held our first bible school with about 30-35 children showing up. As they began coming in the doors, the children hugged us. Some children even went around the church hugging each adult. One thing startled us at first. A few came in in the front door and immediately shot out a side door as we are shouting, "No, aquí!" since I didn't know the words for "come back." As I followed them out, I noticed they were not trying to run away, but were at the outside sink, washing their hands, wiping their hair and face, and rinsing their feet. They quickly finished their task and came back in to sit and wait patiently for instructions.
Some of our youth interacting with the children
One young man had a bright green instrument of some sort, made of bamboo. The way he carried it reminded me of the way the soldiers carried their machine guns on the street corners in the area. I began to wonder if it was an instrument after all. I pointed and asked "qué?" He put it to his mouth and began to play a simple song. "Bravo!", I said, to which he bowed and said "thank you!" Mystery solved, or so I thought. A few minutes later, this same child was holding it like and machine gun and pretending to fire. I guess I was right on both accounts. I couldn't help but laugh.
Our youth acting out the creation story
We had the simplest of crafts as we talked about God creating things of nature such as light and dark, flowers and trees, sun, moon, and stars. The children colored creation pictures, made card stock frames to embellish with foam stickers, folded tissue paper flowers, and played with pipe cleaners. Even the abuelas were fascinated with making pipe cleaner "floras". We had a church member on hand to help translate the bible story and lead the children in songs.
Some of the children, and Melanie coloring
I cannot describe my emotions right now. I barely understood these children and they barely understood me. Yet, we communicated. We shared smiles and hugs. I shared English words while they shared Spanish ones with me. I even shared my name. We had a "Jenni" and a "Jeniffer" today. :)
Scott and Elizabeth with the children as they play with pipe cleaners
Such a wave of joy came over me when I asked them as they left, "Hasta mañana?" and I received big grins with an exuberant "Si! Hasta mañana!"
This is the third of a seven part series taken from my daily journal while in Ahuachapan, El Salvador participating in a mission trip with the LaGrange District of the North Georgia Conference of the United Methodist Church.
Day 3: 2/18/2013
Sleep was interrupted by the sound of dogs barking, roosters crowing, chickens clucking, and horns blowing. As my family well knows, I am NOT a morning person under the best of circumstances so with interrupted sleep, I was a bit grumpy. I complained for a moment, but then quickly remembered my "glad" devotional I gave yesterday taken from a previous blog entry. I must be intentionally optimistic like Pollyanna. I got dressed and headed out for a cup of coffee before breakfast at seven. As I approached the coffee urn, a young Salvadoran male, in broken English said to me with a smile, "This is good coffee." If he could be this bright and cheery this early and take time to converse with me in my language, I could at least improve my attitude and enjoy the simple pleasure of coffee. And it was good! [Side note: As we visited the coffee plantation yesterday, we learned that El Salvadorans appreciate good coffee and begin drinking it as early as two years old.] Needles to say, after a wonderful cup of coffee and another amazing feast for breakfast, we headed to the church for our assignments. It was decided that we would hold bible school on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons. We sorted our supplies and put together our game plan for the Creation Story theme. Our crafts would be geared toward celebrating God's creation.
Next, we toured a local neighborhood village, El Carmen, to invite families to participate in bible school. What an eyeopener! We saw yards of gray dirt, animals roaming free in the yards and houses, and more smiling people! We had 3 representatives from the church to lead us and translate, Fernando, Emerson, and Joanna. It was a new world to me. We saw some homes made of bamboo sticks tied together, with corrugated metal roofs held down by tires. Others were open air cinder block while some were hand-formed adobe bricks dried by the sun.
We saw a brick making operation with a large kiln in the neighborhood. Very impressive.
The streets of rock and dirt made it difficult for me to travel gracefully yet these people do it every day for miles.
This afternoon, I took a shift in our makeshift prayer chapel (a back room in the church's preschool wing ) Time in the middle of our organized chaos to quiet down, pray, meditate, and just refocus.
I am so excited to spend time with the locals tomorrow.
And looking forward to more smiles!!
This is the second of a seven part series taken from my daily journal while
in Ahuachapan, El Salvador participating in a mission trip with the LaGrange
District of the North Georgia Conference of the United Methodist
Church.
Day 2: 2/17/2013
Wow. What a day thus far. 6:30pm and what have we done?!
Geothermal sulfuric hotbeds. Admission fee of $.50/person.
Concepción de Ataco - colony town (and tourist market) settled in a volcano crater.
Slum village built in the side of a mountain. Raw sewage smell for a mile. (Could see village at a distance).
Lunch at an amazing restaurant on a coffee plantation. Entre Nubes Cafe (http://www.entrenubescafe.com/)
Worship at Iglesia Evangelica Metodista Nueva Jerusalen. I was a bit lost with the language, but felt so welcomed. Smiles and hugs and lots of "Hola's".
As we travel the bumpy, winding roads in a suped up old school bus, I see few homes I would consider suitable housing. Some you can smell the stench as you pass. However, I cannot say that I have seen homeless vagrants, or beggars of any sort. I see people in clean clothes and shoes, with clean faces, working. Always moving, and 99% of the time- SMILING!
As I videoed two guys struggling to keep a trailer from rolling down a busy highway, I caught the eye of one. In the midst of his struggle, he lifted a hand to wave.
As I see pickups pass our bus packed with sometimes 30 people in the bed, I see smiles.
While I can speak very little Spanish, I can smile. And they make me smile.
Why can't I smile more in my life? I have an abundance of conveniences and opportunities and resources these people do not and yet they smile.
Smile. Smile. Smile!
This is the first of a seven part series taken from my daily journal while in Ahuachapan, El Salvador participating in a mission trip with the LaGrange District of the North Georgia Conference of the United Methodist Church.
Day 1: 2/16/2013
I left LaGrange with anticipation and some fear, both of the unknown and unfamiliar. I was leaving my family behind, my family I treasure to the ends of the earth. I was leaving them for 8 days. Over the course of 6 months, and with the help of some donations, I paid for this trip and of the necessary preparations ahead of time. This money was financial support that I took from our household, money that could have served my family. I took the money to fund my trip. Satan began to work a number on me. I began to ponder how that money could have benefited my family.
Then, as I landed in El Salvador, and we began to ride the streets of towns, roads of countryside, I realized GOD is using that money for HIS benefit. It was not for ME. It was for HIS kingdom.
I saw slums and shanties. I saw roadside markets and grills manned by locals who looked as they are barely surviving.
Yes, the money could have bought my family more or paid down a credit card balance. However, it enabled me to be right here, right now, with this group of God's children, to serve more of God's children.
I feel like I am being obedient to His call. Here I am, Lord. Send me.
I awoke this morning with bittersweet emotions. As I come to the realization that I will soon be saying goodbye (for a time) to a man I have known and loved all of my life, my heart is heavy, but my mind is full of wonderful memories.
Just over a week or so ago, we received news that my beloved Uncle Barry had what appeared to be cancer. Within a few days, we learned there were no treatment options due to its rapid progression. That kind of news hits you like a truck. Emotions began to flow. First instinct was to drop everything, hop in the car, drive 700 something miles, and spend every last minute I could with him and my family. Reality tells me though that is not possible. My obligations keep me here. Here, so far away from my extended family and longing to be there with them through this difficult time.
As I sit here, I find comfort in my memories of Uncle Barry. One of the earliest and most impressionable ones has to be how he would hold me down and tickle me til I nearly wet my pants. Many of you will know that tickle. How you absolutely hate it one minute, begging for it to end at any cost...the next you are right back over for more. Oh and his hugs were like no other. They were big and strong, and like the tickle, had a little something extra. He would snort like a pig either in your ear or on your neck while scrubbing his chin stubble on you. Chills to the Nth degree shooting all over as the result. As much as you squirmed and pretended not to like it, begging to stop, you loved every minute of it.
Even though I thought he had the strangest accent (Pennsylvania Dutch/Eastern Shore of Maryland brogue), I was the one with the strange accent when on his turf. He never missed many opportunities to point out my Georgia peach way of talking. I think he secretly envied my long "I" sounds in "shyyy" and "spriiiiite".
In my adult years, I could always count on an email or two a day from him. He wanted to make sure I received the money angel and sent it to 12 or more friends, or keep me up to speed on politics even though we didn't really see eye-to-eye on those, or the ever funny growing old jokes. I could almost set my watch and knew when he was at his computer by the timing of the emails. I loved seeing his name in my inbox.
We also shared a love of motorcycle riding. As James and I took a 2500 mile road trip a few summers ago, we were able to stop in and stay with him and my Aunt Cathy for a couple of nights. We shared a love for riding and talked about his ride also.
Last night, I had a dream about Uncle Barry. Nothing profound or even strange. I was back in his living room, giving him a hug, and simply saying "I love you."
I realize I will not have the opportunity to hug him again (at least not here on earth), but I will relive each and every hug I have had until we meet again.
I love you, Uncle Barry. We will meet again one day, and I will be ready for that hug.
When I was in elementary school, my class watched The Neverending Story. Most memorable to me was a flying dog, a wimpy boy, and a sneezing turtle. As I was perusing through our tv channel guide a few days ago, I saw that the movie would be airing soon. I quickly set a timer on the DVR, if for no other reason than nostalgia. Last night, my husband indulged me and watched it with me. The eyeopening began.
Several different themes and messages began to surface for me that I had not gotten as child. Ranging from the power of the imagination to the power of hope to the importance and worth that each of us possess.
The Nothing begins to sweep across the land, leaving nothing in its path, but destruction and despair. The Nothing seeks to rob each of us of our hope and joy. It seeks to destroy. If we allow ourselves to stop and focus on our despair or begin to doubt our worth, we fall prey to The Nothing.
We set out to combat this emptiness, but carry no weapons. However, if we open our eyes and our hearts, we soon realize we are not alone. We have allies to aid in the fight, to help, to guide, to protect.
In a world that is crumbling from lack of hope, a savior is sent in human form. Though seemingly lowly, he brings hope back and restores the world.
While it is not exactly the salvation story we read in our Bible, I was reminded of my Savior. He came to Earth in human form to bring peace and hope for eternity. He reminds us of our worth in God's eyes. We all have purpose and meaning.
Without hope, we sink in the muck of life. Without a Savior, our world is lost.
And contrary to what the muddy turtle ha to say, it DOES matter!!
As I think about this past weekend, I can only praise God. We spent the better part of Saturday with some very good friends we have come to know in recent years. They have had tragedy and heartache in their lives, but continue to find joy in life, and give of themselves in careers that serve and protect others. They are an inspiration to me.
After attending the Atlanta Boat Show together, we shared a meal at Six Feet Under. The restaurant is located across the the street from the legendary Oakland Cemetery that serves as final resting place to quite a number of notable people like Bobby Jones and Margaret Mitchell.
While that may not appeal or interest some, I was personally fascinated by my too short visit. However, even in the short time we spent in the cemetery (due to another engagement I will elaborate on shortly) I was mesmerized. As we strolled through, I began to notice the vast differences in tombstones. They ranged from small and modest to grand and almost ostentatious. I began to think, "Wow, that person must have been important, or they must have been wealthy!" as I saw the grand monuments. Then I saw the Confederate Soldier burial section, all with very modest headstones. Were they not important also?
I realized that the size of the headstone doesn't really matter, does it? The final mark we leave on the world shouldn't be our grave marker. I care nothing for having a large headstone or even a grave for that matter, but I do want to leave a grand imprint on my world. I want to live my life such that when I leave this world, I am not honored with a large over-the-top tombstone or mausoleum, but with the words "well done, good and faithful servant."
That brings me to the second part of my Saturday. Our time at the cemetery was cut short due to attending a prayer and communion service for a family who has answered the call to missionary work. Heidi, Nick, and Gilly Griffiths on January 22 will leave their life here to enter the mission field in Kenya. I cannot begin to imagine such a life change. What an imprint they are making. After hearing their story and watching their preparations, I know the Griffiths' decision was not an easy or quick one. God began working in them some time ago. As I think about them, I stand in awe and admiration of how they have heard the call of God so strongly. I felt a need to be at that prayer service, to wish them well, and to share even if just a little in their journey. You can also share in their journey through their blog. I am including a picture of this precious family. http://griffithsonmission.blogspot.com
They will one day hear those sought after words from God.
Now, that brings me to the end of my weekend. I had a team meeting with my El Salvador mission trip group. We are scheduled to leave on February 16 for a weeklong mission trip. I have never been on a mission trip. I am both excited and fearful about my adventure. However, I am not alone. I know God has called me to do this. He opened doors and provided the resources to make this trip possible. I hope to make Him proud. I can only believe that this trip is just a small part of my mark to leave on this world.
This weekend was an enlightening one for me. God is working in my life...through all areas of my life.
Sometime last year I stood before the church to recognize our acolytes for their service. I had dropped the ball in providing adequate notice of the event and waited too long in ordering appreciation tokens so needless to say, it wasn't very impressive. I took responsibility and apologized for my shortcomings and mistakes. My busy schedule had gotten the best of me. I felt awful and embarrassed.
Shortly after I sat down, still kicking myself for letting the congregation and acolytes down, a very good friend was called up to do the children's moments. She began talking to the little ones about making mistakes and how God loves us even when we mess up. She gave them each a little pink eraser to remind them how God erases our mistakes and sins when we ask for forgiveness. As she walked back to her seat, she stopped by my pew, handed me an eraser, and told me that my mistakes can be erased, too.
That eraser travels with me every day as a reminder that God loves me always, even during those times I mess up. I turn to Him, and He erases my sins! I don't have to be perfect, because He is.
I would be remiss if I didn’t say something in regards to the
Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day that occurred August 1, 2012 under the prompting
of Gov. Mike Huckabee. While I do not generally get into religious or political
debates (and do not plan to engage in one now), I feel a need to explain my
thoughts on why I bought lunch there.
I am really bothered when someone expresses his/her faith in God and choice to
live according to His Word, and is then labeled as judgmental or intolerant.
Being politically incorrect doesn’t make one judgmental or intolerant or even
unloving. Being pro-something doesn’t automatically make one a hater.
According to my understanding of God’s Word, and my Christian belief, we are to
love God with all our heart, soul, and mind. We are to love our neighbor as ourselves.
In my interpretation of those two commandments, and later on where we are told
not to judge others, I see no part that doesn’t say we can gather with other
Christians and celebrate our freedoms of speech and religion. Yesterday’s
gathering wasn’t a hate-fest.
Also, as part of my Christian faith, I support that marriage is a sacred union
between a man and a woman.The Bible is very clear throughout regarding
sexual relationships and that they should be within the confines of marriage
and also between man and woman. The Cathy Family believes this to be true. In
saying it publicly, Chick-Fil-A is deemed anti-gay. I am now saying it
publicly, and run the risk of being anti-gay, although I love everyone. Here’s
where the “thou shalt not judge” comes in. Just because I do not agree with
someone does not mean I hate them. I have gay friends. I have had gay
relatives. I love them all truly. Just because I do not embrace or endorse the
lifestyle doesn’t mean I love them any less.
We ALL sin. We must all get the log out of our own eye before we can see to get
the speck out of our neighbor’s eye. We cannot judge each other, but I ask that
my stance be respected even if you disagree just as I respect yours.
I have fallen short of the glory of God many times. I continue to try harder,
do better, understand more, and draw closer to Him. As the little children’s
song said “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.” We are the children of the
world- red, yellow, black, white, gay, straight, married, single, young, old,
tall, short….Jesus loves us all and commands that we love us all, too.
Ever hear a song many times and interpret one way, then all of a sudden hear it one day and get a totally different idea from it? Well, that happened to me today. I have heard "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts for 5 or 6 years now and always thought it was a nice song about two people in love with one going off to pursue a dream. Today, as the song came on the radio, I thought of my children. As the song played and got to the chorus, tears formed in my eyes. I began to realize in a few short years, my children would be venturing out on their own.
But more than anything, more than anything, My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, Yeah, this, is my wish.
Our family August 2011
The rest of the lyrics touched me just as much. I drove to town this morning fighting back the tears at the thought I will have two in high school with the last one close behind in 8th grade this school year. When I think of how quickly the years have passed, I get emotional. I love their growing independence, but still get nervous when they are not all with me. I feel best when I have them all at home. I have never thought of myself as an overly sheltering mother since I don't shield them from all of life's unsavory aspects. Nonetheless, I feel most secure when I know exactly where each are and who they're with. This song reminds me that the time will come when I have to let go. I pray that when the time comes, they will hold tight to all they have been taught. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." We have done our best to train our child in the ways of The Lord, and we hold tight to this promise. The day is nearing when I will have to say to them, "This is my wish, I hope you know somebody loves you."
Yesterday, well, actually Saturday, I began the annual dread of Mother's Day. Not because I don't love my mother, or don't love being a mother, but as attention is given to it, I can't help but analyze all of my shortcomings as a mother. We are often reminded of Proverbs 31 on Mother's Day in sermons and the Virtuous Wife sounds amazing. I definitely fall short and will never live up to that biblical example. Depression begins to set in.
I do the best I can yet I know if I were to rise a little earlier, or stay up a little later, or push myself a little harder, I could have a cleaner and more organized house and no pile of laundry in the closets....wait, that's it! I beat myself up every year because I don't have an immaculate home and no dirty laundry?!?
When I think of the love I show my family, none could outlove me. When I think of how I sacrifice my time and desires for them, none could replace me. I love my children more than anyone could. As they grow and mature, I pray they remember my love, not my piles of laundry. I hope they can be proud of what I do for them, and not worry about what is left undone at times. Things often get left undone to watch a show together, or play on the water. Those are the times I pray will be remembered.
I don't hold their hand through everything. I don't pack their lunches. I don't pick out their clothes. (I do veto outfits at times.) I don't micromanage them at all. My goal is to raise them to be self-sufficient. I see them each day moving toward adulthood. It makes me proud. My heart is heavy in knowing that they are growing so fast, but full of joy that they will be responsible adults in a matter of years. As I reflect on the years passing so quickly, I want to make the most of the time we have together as a family. If things are left undone, then so be it. They will learn to adapt and roll with the changes.
I have always loved this song by Toby Keith. We all have a list of things we need to get done. Often, those things become how we measure ourselves. When I fall behind, or fail to do something, I begin to analyze my shortcomings. I have told my husband on countless occasions that he deserves so much better than me. However, when I really think about it, no one could love him more...just may keep his house cleaner and the laundry done.
I have come to the conclusion that I really need to stop saying that to him. He deserves the most love any woman can give, and I KNOW I can give him that. My children deserve a mother who will give them the most love she can give, and I KNOW I can give them that. I cannot and will not promise a showcase home, but I can promise love, care, and attention ALWAYS.
Sometimes life is just plain hard. No way around it. We get hit with things out of our control. We see our friends suffer and there is nothing we can do about it. Then, there's just a bad cold that seems to make everything else seem worse, too.
I am in one of those sort of funks right now. My friends are hurting and there is nothing I can do to help. And I just can't seem to shake this bad cold or whatever it is. However, my ailments pale in comparison to what others around me are experiencing. I shouldn't complain. Yet I do. :(
We have a movie on our DVR called Pollyanna. Some may have heard of this movie, or even just the term "being a Pollyanna." I had heard the term long before seeing the movie. Dictionary.com defines the term as "anexcessivelyorblindlyoptimistic person." When you read that, you almost get the idea it is a bad thing. After watching the movie, Hayley Mills (aka Miss Bliss from Saved by the Bell) portrays the character Pollyanna who in most circumstances likes to play the Glad Game. She purposedly focuses on the good in situations and doesn't allow the bad to bring her down. She is not blindly optimistic, but intently optimistic. For example, instead of me complaining about this awful cold, I can be glad I do not have the flu. I can still function to some degree.
We could all take a lesson from Pollyanna. When we decide, or allow ourselves to hone in on the evils and troubles of this world all the time, we miss the blessings before us. I am not saying to look at the world through rose-colored glasses, but to take time to notice the blessings. They will always far outweigh the troubles if you look hard enough.God loves each and every one of us. He promises to be with us each step of the way. He sends His Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us. We are never alone. Be glad in that!
Psalm 118:24
This is the day the
Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better in the future.
- William Wordsworth
As I sit here today, I am thinking of those people in my life that are dealing with issues right this very moment. These issues include (but not limited to) illness, emotional stress, disaster, pure lack of knowledge, finances, and mere uncertainty. Circumstances well within or out of their control have placed them at a crossroad today. As they stand at that crossroad, a choice is to be made. "How do I let the issue define me?" The answer they give will determine their future. Either they can make the choice to let it drag them down, and use it to limit their potential OR they can learn from it, and come out the other side stronger and wiser as a result.
Over the years, I have chosen both roads. There have been times when I let a single event drag me down and threaten to destroy me. I gave it power over me. It robbed me of my joy. I allowed myself to believe and live a lie. It was the easier route to take. I use my circumstances as an excuse not to try harder. Blaming it on someone or something else relieved me of having to make a choice. Saying "I didn't know" was such an easy way out. Throwing a pity party and letting Satan tell me I was no good, that I had brought things on myself, that I didn't deserve to be happy took no effort at all. There is a line from "Pretty Woman' with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.... "The bad stuff is easier to believe." When we are told we mean nothing, we're lazy or ugly, or we brought something on ourselves, we believe it so much faster than taking a compliment with a smile and a "thank-you."
The flipside of that are the times I have decided to accept the circumstances, hold my head high, and learn from it. We all have trying times, whether we messed up or something totally out of our control happens, such as a tornado hitting your house. Choosing to face it, and ask God to guide us and hold us through it makes all the difference in the world. When we turn it over to Him, miracles happen. Joy is found. Does it mean we won't ever experience trouble or have hard times? No. It means we can get through it, and not all alone. Christ is here to meet us wherever we are. We are loved and valuable.
As I write this, I am praying for those dealing with such issues. You do not have to experience anything alone. Jesus will meet you there.
Jesus Will Meet You There by Steven Curtis Chapman
When you think you've hit the bottom and the bottom gives way and you fall into a darkness
no words can explain and you don't know how you make it out alive
Jesus will meet you there. When the doctor says, "I'm sorry,we don't know what else to do."
and you're looking at your family wondering how they'll make it through...
Whatever road this life takes you down, Jesus will meet you there. He knows the way to wherever you are
He knows the way to the depths of your heart
He knows the way 'cause he's already been where you're going
Jesus will meet you there. When the jury says, "Guilty,"and the prison doors close
When the one you love says nothing, just packs up and goes
When the sunlight comes and your world's still dark,
Jesus will meet you there. When you've failed again and all your second chances have been used
And the heavy weight of guilt and shame is crushing down on you...
And all you have is one last cry for help
Jesus will meet you there. He knows the way to wherever you are
He knows the way to the depths of your heart
He knows the way 'cause he's already been where you're going When you realize the dreams you've hadf or your child won't come true
when the phone rings in the middle of the night with tragic news...
Whatever valley you must walk through,
Jesus will meet you there. He will meet you there. Jesus will meet you there
“I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is.” ― Albert Camus
In our community, we have an outspoken atheist who frequently writes letters to the editor of our local paper. In his letters, he challenges Christians to prove their faith or religion is real. He also tries very hard to use scientific evidence to disprove our faith. My question is, and probably always will be, why does he try so hard to convince us we are wrong? Will he not be satisfied until we say he is right? What does he have to gain? As I think about my faith, I have so many unanswered questions. Yes, I would love to have all the knowledge of God and be able to satisfactorily shoot down any argument against His Existence. However, I am lacking in that area. I can only rely on what I do know and believe. What if I am wrong and they are right? What do I lose? *crickets chirping* I have nothing to lose in believing Christ is the Savior of the world. Nothing of value, that is. So I may look dorky or gullible to those who don't believe. I may not have the full respect of those who choose not to follow Christ. What else do I lose on earth in believing? Nothing. What do I lose in eternity? Nothing. If they are right, and this is all there is, then when this life ends, it is over. No more. Do I have anything to lose in believing? No. What if they are wrong and I am right? What do they lose? They lose the opportunity here on earth to experience God's grace and mercy, and ever-outstretched arms to hold them. They lose comfort and guidance. They have to go at it alone.They lose the peace and assurance that all the miseries of this life will pass away and we will find rest in His Presence. They will lose eternity with Him. Do they have anything to lose in not believing? Yes. One thing I can say with all certainty, is that atheists have to be very confident, self-assured people. I could never tackle the heartaches, trials, and tribulations of this life without my God. I know without a single doubt in my mind that God has brought me this far. Had I rejected Christ and not made Him Lord of my life, I am certain my life would be in a much different place. I still question, still try to figure God out. The difference is that I do it in faith. I do it as a way to draw closer to Him, not to disprove Him. I seek God....and He shows up!
I have everything to gain and nothing to lose in believing. I am just not sure those who reject God or refuse to believe in Him can say the same. I ponder what I have to lose in believing or not. Do they do the same?
Below are the lyrics and a video to Nichole Nordeman's "What If..." I know what happens if I am wrong. Do they?
What if you're right? And
he was just another nice guy What if you're right? What if it's
true? They say the cross will only make a fool of you And what if it's
true?
What if he takes his place
in history With all the prophets and the kings Who taught us love and came
in peace But then the story ends What then?
But what if you're
wrong? What if there's more? What if there's hope you never dreamed of
hoping for? What if you jump? And just close your eyes? What if the
arms that catch you, catch you by surprise? What if He's more than
enough? What if it's love?
What if you dig Way down
deeper than your simple-minded friends What if you dig? What if you
find A thousand more unanswered questions down inside That's all you
find?
What if you pick apart the
logic And begin to poke the holes What if the crown of thorns is no
more Than folklore that must be told and retold?
You've been running as fast
as you can You've been looking for a place you can land for so long But
what if you're wrong?
As I began participating in the Abstinence Training program
that First Choice leads in the classrooms of area schools, I was a little
apprehensive. I was unsure if that was the route that God wanted me to
take.For nearly five years, I served as
a client advocate, but as with a lot of things, I felt my season was over in
that position. I stepped back and took time away from the Center. However, also
as with a lot of things, God was pushing me back, but I didn’t know in which
position.
One day, out of the blue, I received a request from Carol,
our Abstinence Coordinator. She needed help in the classrooms. Either she
caught me on good day, or God just took over (I prefer the latter), and I
accepted. As I mentioned, I was a bit apprehensive even after accepting.
After sharing classes with Carol as part of my training, and
then leading, then solo classes, all apprehension is gone. I have fallen in
love with this endeavor. Going into the classes, meeting students of all
socioeconomic and racial demographics, and watching them open up and respond to
our teachings is so fulfilling. I leave each day looking forward to the next,
and have bittersweet feelings at the end of the week when I have to move on.
The one thing I have learned with each of these classes and
students is that they want to be treated with respect. When we share knowledge
with them, and help them explore the consequences of actions, we leave the
choice up to them. We don’t go in with heads shaking and fingers wagging
saying, “Sex is bad. Don’t have sex.” We equip them and leave the choice to
them so are empowered. I do believe these kids can make the right decision. We
do not say, “You should wait to have sex, but we really know you won’t so at
least use a condom.”If we were to do
that, they would feel as though we have no faith in them whatsoever. That is
not the respect they so crave.
We share the love of God with them, but not directly. We
share it by telling them that we care about them, and want them to make wise,
informed decisions. We tell them we know they are capable of such decisions.
That is all they want and need. They need someone to educate them, encourage
them, and trust them. Isn’t that what we all want and need?
Just a little added something....
Troup County Teen Maze Event Just this week, I was able to take part in a local event geared to equip teens with knowledge that they can use to make wise and informed decisions. From sexual experiences to drunk driving, teens were able to explore the consequences of their decisions.
Entering a new chapter in life can be quite unnerving. However, finally doing what God wants you to do can be quite reassuring in times of change. I knew from the time I met my husband that God wanted me to have a family and raise my children to know Him. That task has been a fulltime job! When the youngest entered school, I had a little extra time on my hands and felt led to do something. So I looked to getting a job that would be flexible enough to handle the kids' schedules yet still earn some cash. Real estate seemed to be a good route. Little did I know that unless you pour your blood, sweat, and tears into it, the field yields very little cash and takes up a great deal of time. As a mom, my blood, sweat, tears, and time are needed elsewhere.
While being a wife and mother is highly fulfilling, I have had the still small voice telling me I needed to do more for the Kingdom. Feeling a push toward Christian ministry, I felt in no way was God calling me to the pulpit. Or at least I don't think He is. Through much prayer and inquiry, I have realized there is more to Christian ministry than just preaching on Sunday mornings. The Lord is so good in pointing us in the right direction if we just open our hearts and minds to His leading. I began directing my prayers to "please show me." When we pray that prayer and honestly want God to show us, doors are opened.
Recently, Point University opened a satellite campus in West Point, Georgia. It is convenient and affordable, and a Christian college! So, I began researching, and procrastinating, and doubting. I was worried what folks would think. I was wondering how I could do this with the schedule I have. I mulled over the finances. Yet, I once again prayed "please show me." Point has an adult student program geared at enabling working adults with busy schedules to complete a full degree program. WOW! I am still waiting on word of acceptance to the program, but waiting with peace. God has brought me to this, and He will continue to lead me as long as I let Him.
As I wait, He has placed other opportunities to do His work. I have been given the pleasure of visiting older adults in our church, working with the three and four year olds' choir, serving as an abstinence trainer affiliated with our local pregnancy center, and chairman of our church's mission committee and local children's camp board in the coming year. Each of those endeavors, I can serve Christ and share his love with people of all ages. I am thrilled at the opportunities He has shown me.
Be careful when you pray "please show me" because He is ready to do just that.
Psalm 25
1 In you, LORD
my God,
I put my trust.
2 I trust in you;
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me. 3 No one who hopes in
you
will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.
4 Show me your ways,
LORD,
teach me your paths. 5 Guide me in your
truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long. 6 Remember, LORD,
your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old. 7 Do not remember the
sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you, LORD, are good.
8 Good and upright is
the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. 9 He guides the
humble in what is right
and teaches them his way. 10 All the ways of
the LORD are loving and faithful
toward those who keep the demands of his covenant. 11 For the sake of
your name, LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, are those
who fear the LORD?
He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.[b] 13 They will spend
their days in prosperity,
and their descendants will inherit the land. 14 The LORD confides
in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them. 15 My eyes are ever
on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be
gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 Relieve the
troubles of my heart
and free me from my anguish. 18 Look on my
affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins. 19 See how numerous
are my enemies
and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue
me;
do not let me be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you. 21 May integrity and
uprightness protect me,
because my hope, LORD,[c] is in you.
22 Deliver Israel, O
God,
from all their troubles!
Today, I marvel at what faith can do. Prayer really does work wonders. Miracles happen. God is bigger than anything. He opens doors. We are His instruments. However, in order for Him to use us, we must have some level of faith. He doesn't even ask much of us in the amount of faith.
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”Matthew 17:20
In saying that, we must be willing participants. We must want to serve the Lord, and believe in His mighty powers. He can use us, but He does not need us to carry out His plans. He is God. His word tells us that if we keep quiet, the rocks themselves will cry out. I don't know about you guys, but I don't want a rock taking my place.
“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19:40
Yesterday, a plea went out via Facebook in Team Caleb's group. It was a simple plea, yet extremely desperate from a mother reaching out for help on behalf of her precious child. While in Houston trying to get treatment started for Caleb, his mom Jana ran into bureaucratic red tape. Her plea was as follows: Ok Team Caleb, I need your help. The FDA has a new person in charge of reviewing case. It could take up to 2 weeks before we get approval. Please help me. We need letters from Congress persons or anyone with any political power to bang on the door of the FDA to get Caleb on this trial please have anyone you know fax or email the FDA on Caleb's behalf. The tumor is progressing and we are waiting without out treatment. Please help in any way possible.
You would be amazed at the response this request got and the speed at which people all over the country began scouring their resources. People put aside pride, and hesitation, and flooded their congressmen, state representatives, government employees, doctor friends with pleas for intervention. Within a matter of hours, the red tape was cut. The Kinnersley's got word that FDA approval had come for Caleb's clinical trial treatments.
I still stand in awe at what can happen when God's children bind together. When over 2400 people are praying for this child, good things happen. Our prayers don't stop there. We pray for Caleb. We pray for each other. We pray for the FDA. We pray for the Burzynski Clinic. We pray that God shows out in a mighty way.
God has brought Caleb this far. He has brought over 2400 people together for a common cause. He says wherever two or more are gathered, He is there also. He says whatever we ask in His name, it shall be given. I believe that. I claim that.
I posted the video above to Kutless' What Faith Can do. Read the lyrics below as a prayer. Ask God to increase your faith so you can move mountains. I don't refer to physical mountains, but those mountains that get in our way of living out our lives for Christ. Yesterday, the Kinnersley's faced a mountain...a governmental, bureaucratic mountain. Faith moved that mountain. Now on to the miracles! Go TEAM CALEB!!
Everybody falls sometimes Gotta find the strength to rise From the ashes and make a new beginning Anyone can feel the ache You think its more than you can take But you are stronger, stronger than you know Don't you give up now The sun will soon be shining You gotta face the clouds To find the silver lining
I've seen dreams that move the mountains Hope that doesn't ever end Even when the sky is falling And I've seen miracles just happen Silent prayers get answered Broken hearts become brand new That's what faith can do
It doesn't matter what you've heard Impossible is not a word It's just a reason for someone not to try Everybody's scared to death When they decide to take that step Out on the water It'll be alright Life is so much more Than what your eyes are seeing You will find your way If you keep believing
I've seen dreams that move the mountains Hope that doesn't ever end Even when the sky is falling And I've seen miracles just happen Silent prayers get answered Broken hearts become brand new That's what faith can do
Overcome the odds You don't have a chance (That's what faith can do) When the world says you can't It'll tell you that you can!
I've seen dreams that move the mountains Hope that doesn't ever end Even when the sky is falling And I've seen miracles just happen Silent prayers get answered Broken hearts become brand new That's what faith can do That's what faith can do! Even if you fall sometimes You will have the strength to rise
I have recently had opportunities that have enabled me to grow in my life. It amazes me how God uses people and circumstances to reach others. Some may never know how their actions or situations can affect another.
Lately, I have encountered several families and individuals whose circumstances and/or comments have impacted me personally. The effect has not been the same for all instances.
A few cases have involved illness or loss that have prompted me to pray. I have made prayer a daily part of my life for a long time, but lately, it has become a more prominent part. It has become a privilege to pray for others. I find myself saying little breath prayers for others throughout the day. I take time to pray for myself specifically, too. I take time out of my day, separating myself, and to prayerfully offer focused intercessions to God on behalf of others. I do not share this to say, "Hey, look at what a good person I am!" I say this to share another little way I am finding my place.
Another recent event has been the abstinence training I am involved with in the schools. Through the coach whose class we are in this week, I learned a "help"ful acronym. He uses H.E.L.P in aiding kids with making wise decisions in actions. When faced with a decision to make, four questions can be asked to determine the course of action.
H is for "is it healthy?"
E is for "is it ethical?"
L is for "is it legal?"
P is for "would parents approve?"
Unless one can answer all in the affirmative, then one should probably refrain from the action. While this is a teaching tool used with high schoolers, I believe if all analyzed situations in this manner, society as a whole could improve. Now, I realize we don't live in a perfect world, and we can't change everyone, but we can change ourselves.
Mahatma Gandhi said: "Be the change you want to see in the world."
No words can begin to describe the feelings so many Americans have on this day. As I sit here and watch footage of that day, my heart breaks all over again. A knot in my stomach forms. Fear wells up.
We all remember where we were and what we were doing when we heard. We raced to the nearest TV. We sat dumbfounded as we saw two burning skyscrapers. While in the midst of disbelief and prayers came the horror of watching the buildings collapse. Could this be happening? A short time later come more reports...the Pentagon, the plane in Pennsylvania...are there more? What about Atlanta? The busiest airport in the nation...is it a target? Is it over or are there more to come?
All of these questions and emotions are made fresh again as we remember and relive. Fear, hurt, anger...so fresh again. Our country, our world has not been the same since that day. One thing I long for though from that day and the days to follow, is the spirit of patriotism, love for America, the banding together against an evil one.
Whether all care to admit, we were all affected that day. Our lives changed forever. The nation changed forever. My prayer is that God will guide us and protect us. May God bless those who have lost in this tragedy, and those who serve to ensure or freedoms.
Pledge of Allegiance I pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.
"I pledge allegiance" (I promise to be true) "to the flag" (to the symbol of our country) "of the United States of America" (each state that has joined to make our country) "and to the Republic" (a republic is a country where the people choose others to make laws for them -- the government is "of, by and for" the people) "for which it stands," (the flag means the country) "one nation" (a single country) "under God," (the people believe in a supreme being) "indivisible," (the country cannot be split into parts) "with Liberty and Justice" (with freedom and fairness) "for all." (for each person in the country...you and me!) *copied from http://www.wvsd.uscourts.gov/outreach/Pledge.htm
