Dreading Mother's Day...

Yesterday, well, actually Saturday, I began the annual dread of Mother's Day. Not because I don't love my mother, or don't love being a mother, but as attention is given to it, I can't help but analyze all of my shortcomings as a mother. We are often reminded of Proverbs 31 on Mother's Day in sermons and the Virtuous Wife sounds amazing. I definitely fall short and will never live up to that biblical example. Depression begins to set in.

I do the best I can yet I know if I were to rise a little earlier, or stay up a little later, or push myself a little harder, I could have a cleaner and more organized house and no pile of laundry in the closets....wait, that's it! I beat myself up every year because I don't have an immaculate home and no dirty laundry?!?

When I think of the love I show my family, none could outlove me. When I think of how I sacrifice my time and desires for them, none could replace me. I love my children more than anyone could. As they grow and mature, I pray they remember my love, not my piles of laundry. I hope they can be proud of what I do for them, and not worry about what is left undone at times. Things often get left undone to watch a show together, or play on the water. Those are the times I pray will be remembered.

I don't hold their hand through everything. I don't pack their lunches. I don't pick out their clothes. (I do veto outfits at times.) I don't micromanage them at all. My goal is to raise them to be self-sufficient. I see them each day moving toward adulthood. It makes me proud. My heart is heavy in knowing that they are growing so fast, but full of joy that they will be responsible adults in a matter of years. As I reflect on the years passing so quickly, I want to make the most of the time we have together as a family. If things are left undone, then so be it. They will learn to adapt and roll with the changes.

I have always loved this song by Toby Keith. We all have a list of things we need to get done. Often, those things become how we measure ourselves. When I fall behind, or fail to do something, I begin to analyze my shortcomings. I have told my husband on countless occasions that he deserves so much better than me. However, when I really think about it, no one could love him more...just may keep his house cleaner and the laundry done.

I have come to the conclusion that I really need to stop saying that to him. He deserves the most love any woman can give, and I KNOW I can give him that. My children deserve a mother who will give them the most love she can give, and I KNOW I can give them that. I cannot and will not promise a showcase home, but I can promise love, care, and attention ALWAYS.

Maybe I don't fall short after all...