Everything Has Its Time

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 
A time to be born, And a time to die; 
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 
At time to kill, And a time to heal; 
A time to break down, And a time to build up; 
A time to weep, And a time to laugh; 
A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; 
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; 
A time to gain, And a time to lose; 
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;  
A time to tear, And a time to sew; 
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
At time to love, And a time to hate; 
A time of war, And a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1‭-‬8 NKJV


There is a time for everything, every purpose under Heaven. It is God's time. It is not our time. I believe we are called to recognize the times in our lives, to recognize the season we are in at any given moment. If we are unsure, we need to turn to God for that guidance.

In recent weeks, our family entered a new season, well, several seasons. It seems we may in a time to embrace, a time to gain and lose, and a time to cast away. One might ask how that is, to be in a number of seasons at the same time. One event in the life of our family has left us feeling a myriad of thoughts and emotions.
August 31, 2019 I get that dreaded phone call that no mother wants that tells her she needs to come because there has been an accident. Without giving the play by play, I say that Reid calls and tells me that he and his dad have wrecked in James' Mustang a few miles from the house and that it was at that point on fire.
Many of you may know that I don't handle stressful situations very well. I don't take the time to ask questions. I don't respond rationally. So, without saying much more to him other than I'm on my way, I hang up on him. I rush out the door with the 3 other young folks at my house and head to the scene, in pajamas and bare feet. I saw this as my time to embrace. I had to embrace my guys. Unfortunately, due to the impact of the crash, it was not their time to embrace due to some aches, but nonetheless, we rejoiced in the fact they both had walked away from this wreckage with very minor injuries. It was (and is) our time to not weep, but to dance, if only metaphorically speaking.
The car, on the other hand, is in a different season. It is a time to lose, to cast away. What began as an investment project many years ago turned into a fixture in the life of our family. The old 69 Mustang was revived in the early 90s, and then again earlier this year. In between, it served us well as a fun car that caught the eye of many or as a spare family car when needed. More times than not, it sat in the garage, under a cover, quiet, unnoticed. On that Saturday night, the Mustang spun out, left the roadway, and came to rest after slamming into a power pole at the center of the rear end. Soon after, flames appeared, but my guys were able to quickly exit the car without harm. It was their time to let go of the car.
Throughout the entire ordeal, James has had an overwhelming sense of peace. He has said that even in the moments right before impact, he felt peace. I believe it is his peace that has helped the rest of us handle the situation better. He has the peace that passes all understanding, the peace that only comes from God.
Now that peace has not prevented us from analyzing the event, and going over all of the "could've been's". In all of that analysis, we have recognized God's hand and God's timing in the ordeal. From who was in the car, to the turning of the car at the last moment, to the opening of the door that should've been jammed...God had His hand on them. It was their time to walk away. It was not my time to mourn.
In these last two weeks, my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place, but I say with certainty, my guys are here today for a purpose, for a new season. And we embrace it!

When You Pass Through the Waters...

(as presented at Church on the Hooch, June 4, 2017)

Good morning to all. I am so honored and privileged to have the opportunity to speak at Church on the Hooch. As a resident of Troup County, and more specifically, a lake resident, it brings me great joy to combine a number of the things I love… family, friends, worship, our God and the lake.

For many years, the lake has been a place of refuge for us. It has been a place to escape the troubles and headaches of the everyday world. Before we purchased a home on the water, we would spend most of our weekends, and even some weekdays hauling the boat to the lake. Sometimes we would camp overnight, other times, just a day trip. No matter how much or how little time spent, it was time well spent. So many memories have been made on these waters which is why I am so happy to be standing here today on its bank to share some time with you.

Those of you who know me probably know my love of watersports, skiing particularly. If you ski, you know this is not an easy sport for many to pick up, especially as an adult as I did. What you may not know is that I can barely swim. I can imagine that seems odd for one who loves the water so much. Of course, one should always have a life vest on when participating in watersports so I have never worried too much when slipping into the water with rope in hand. Where my abilities are lacking, the vest is there to preserve and protect. Isn’t our God like that?
There are many occasions in our lives where we face difficulty or uncertainty, and if left to our own abilities or skill, we would sink…much like me without my vest on. However, God does not ever intend for us to pass thru these troubled waters without Him. In fact, He promises to be with us.

Isaiah 43:2-3

New International Version (NIV)

2 When you pass through the waters,

    I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

3 For I am the Lord your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Those waters can be any number of situations or circumstances. Some can be of our own doing or others completely out of our control. Some are just milestones in life to be expected though not always welcomed. I am experiencing one of those milestones these days. My three children, who are now adults, will be leaving home this fall for colleges in three separate cities. For the last 21 years, I have been a full time mom. This fall, that changes. While I am well aware I will not stop being their mom, my role will change. I will not be physically present in their daily lives. This has been a tough realization for me. It is definitely a situation of unchartered waters for me. However, God promised in those verses I just read that He would be with me. For that to happen, I have to let Him wrap me in His arms, much like that vest I mentioned earlier. Recently, I got ready to take a ski run, and in my excitement and haste of strapping on the ski, I slipped off the platform into the very chilly water, with rope in hand, but no vest. I panicked as I began sinking. As I was finally able to gasp out that I didn’t have my vest, mind you the cold water was literally breath-taking, James grabbed the rope to pull me back to the boat as I rolled over on my back. Still panicky, I instructed him to pull faster. Had he listened to me and pulled any faster, my head would have been submerged. As he steadily pulled me in, I could hear his voice telling me that I was fine and all is ok. Isn’t it like that with our relationship with God? So often we jump into a situation with excitement and haste, that we don’t fully prepare ourselves, or include God in our plans. We go in without our vest, our lifesaver. When we find ourselves in troubled waters, we must reach out to Him, hold on to the rope, relax, and trust, and allow Him to pull us to safety. He will pull us to safety and all the while, will tell us we are fine and all is ok. We will want Him to pull faster. We want things to happen or to be fixed on our timetable, not His. When we push it, we will undoubtedly sink.

As we sang this morning in our opening song- Oceans:

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sov’reign hand will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

In order to be successful in skiing, in addition to the vest, I have to follow a few more steps. For years I attempted to ski, but was unsuccessful. I tried the same thing over and over, getting the same results. I would put my best foot forward (strong foot that is), I would put that ski out in front, feel the rope get tight, yell hit it, and pull on that handle while trying to stand up. In a sense, I was trying to do all of the work. Time after time, I would do this ensuring failure each time. I finally gave up and resolved that I just couldn’t do it. I stuck to two skis which didn’t require as much effort or skill. It wasn’t until years later, I was encouraged to try again, but this time with a different approach. Strap on the ski, but this time, put that strong foot in the back to ground or plant me in a sense. Curl up in a ball with my arms and ski in front of me. When I feel the rope get tight and yell hit it, let the boat pull me. Don’t fight the pull. Don’t pull against it. Go with it.

Our walk with the Lord should follow that model. We must plant ourselves in His Word, be grounded in His way, not our way. Rather than force ourselves or try to make something happen, we must allow Him to pull us through. We have to hold on and let Him. And He will, much like that Nautique pulls me up out of those sometimes very chilly waters. Will we hit bumpy or rough waters? Absolutely, but it will make us appreciate those instances when we can experience the smooth water, or glass as we call it. Will we fall sometimes? Most definitely. Will it hurt? Some worse than others. However, very often, we hold on, get pulled up, and have the best run we have had in a while. We finish the task at hand, and throw our hands up in victory. I actually have a few pics of me in that pose. It is such an amazing feeling when we overcome the hard part and can reap the rewards.

 

That is what God wants for us today. He wants us to put Him on like a vest over our heart, hold on to Him like that handle, and allow Him to lead us thru the waters like that boat.

If you have been struggling with an issue or have a concern weighing you down, causing you to sink in the water, please know you do not have to go at it alone. God is with you always, ready to pull you through it. He may send people your way to help, like James who pulled me out of the water, or my friends the Goodings who gave me a fresh way to tackle skiing, or my friend Carol in Brooks, GA who gave me just the right words of encouragement at the right time when facing the impending Empty Nest, just to name a few.

I don’t always follow these words, but when I do, God shows up and He always fulfills His promise. 

When you pass through the waters,

    I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Not Gone, Just Different

For years, we would look forward to our annual Christmas card and newsletter from James' Aunt Lanelle. By profession, she was a technical writer. I often thought she missed her calling by not pursuing a career as a travel writer. We would get a glowing report of her travels and adventures throughout the year. We lived very vicariously through her. She was always full of life and joy.
While I speak about her in past tense, I do not mean to imply Aunt Lanelle is gone. She is not gone. She is just different. A number of years ago, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. In her early stages of this mind-altering condition, you may not have even noticed a difference if you didn't know her. Names failed to come to mind, even the spelling of her own on one occasion in my presence. Yet, her smile and joyful spirit remained.
Until last week, James and I had not seen Aunt Lanelle in a few years since the onset. For years while receiving her detailed letters, we had the great desire to visit her home in the Pacific Northwest. Last week, a business trip for James allowed us the opportunity to finally visit. However, it wasn't to the log home she raved about in Clackamas or the more recently built Washington State home that had a picture window that framed Mt. Hood. It was at her nursing home facility.
As we made plans to visit, we were a little apprehensive. We didn't want to cause her undue stress, but we had a strong desire to see her. Before we saw her, we met with the activities director and asked her advice on the best way to approach our beloved aunt. We all agreed that we would just visit with her and not try to make a familial connection. We would just be James and Jennifer visiting from Georgia. After making that decision, we were led around a corner to see her. We then spent about 5-10 minutes looking around for. She was on the go, walking the premises with a friend, darting here and there. Then, there she was. Her little petite dark haired precious self. We had been told by the director not to expect much expression from her as she didn't show much facial change based on emotion. As we were introduced to her as visitors from Georgia, she commented that it was nice to have new faces around, then she looked up at James' face as his name was called. For a short instance, I believe there was a recognition. She smiled a very big smile at him. As quickly as it came, it faded. We exchanged a few pleasantries then she was off to walk again. A few minutes later, she made her rounds again, and we talked about her teal fingernail polish and how it matched her friend's socks. That made her laugh out loud, but it, too, quickly faded. She was off to walk again.
We left there with a smile on our face and a tear in our eye. I think we will always cherish our times with her, whether it was years ago playing Taboo and making her curse, getting her up on waterskis, or our latest bittersweet encounter. Aunt Lanelle is not gone, but different.

This was the last picture I took of Aunt Lanelle (right) with her beautiful and loving sister (left) a few years ago after the diagnosis.

Why Resist the Change?

As I sit down to write this morning before going about my job-related tasks, a burden has been laid on my heart to share my thoughts and opinion. We all know everyone has a right to his/her own opinion and everyone thinks his/her own opinion is the right one. In reality, that belief is true. My opinion is the right one for me, and yours is for you. At the end of the day, we can agree or we can agree to disagree, but still respect and love one another.

A topic for discussion has come up in our local church this week regarding the time given to the earlier morning worship services. 45 minutes have been historically allotted for these two services before the Sunday School hour that begins (also historically) at 9:45 for more classes. The idea of pushing back the earlier services to begin at 8:45 or possibly 8:30 has ruffled a number of feathers. Over the course of the last 8 months, our church has been experiencing a number of changes in worship format under the leadership of our newest senior pastor. Some congregants have embraced the changes readily while others have had a more reserved attitude. The truth is that our church has been in a slow and steady decline for the past ten years. If we continue the historical practices, we will continue the historical decline. We have to make some changes in order to grow. Isn't that true in every aspect of our lives? Changes are inevitable. We can resist them, but like it or not, something changes.

Back to the topic of changing the worship times to allow for a full hour of worship and Sunday School...what is the reason for objection? Is allowing an extra 15-30 minutes for God on a Sunday morning a bad thing? Are our Sundays so packed that we can only give God one hour and 45 minutes right now? What really happens if the 11:00 service runs past noon? Before you object to the time change, I just ask that you explore why you object. I am not a morning person, and the idea of getting up even 30 minutes earlier makes me groan, but is it really about me? I want spend time with God. I want to be fed thru the scriptures read, the dialogue with peers, the message from our pastor, whether senior or assistant pastor. I should be happy to be given the opportunity to have more time in worship of my Lord, because the Lord knows I don't devote as much time during the week to Him as I should.

As I said earlier, we all have our opinions and believe our own is the right one. I just ask that as you form your opinion, ask why you believe what you believe. Is it to suit yourself or do you truly believe it is for the good of the whole congregation?

Change is hard, but sometimes it is necessary in order to grow. I believe that both of our pastors have been sent to help revive our church, to stop the bleeding, and change the historical decline. They are  not the church however. "I am the church, you are the church, we are the church together."

I say all of this not to ruffle any more feathers or create division or even offend. We are all different, but we need to be together. The music would be so much sweeter...

There Are Far Better Things Ahead Than Any We Leave Behind

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19 New International Version (NIV)

Humans are curious by nature I think. Our minds wander and wonder about many things throughout the day, and even throughout the night at times. Social media connections contribute immensely to the mind-racing at times. Hours can be spent, I dare say wasted, on Facebook searching for old acquaintances/friends, or quietly stalking people’s pages. Checking out the old hometown newspaper can also be a great source of angst at times.

It occurred to me the contradiction in wanting to remove myself from my old life yet often clicking on links that will take me right back. Sometimes, I find a pleasant memory, but all too often, something appears that only renews heartache. Curiosity killed the cat, right?

It is okay to know where one comes from. However, I believe it is more important to know where one is going. It is important we know our history, but we must not dwell there. We cannot change the past, but we can change the future. Each day we must choose to move forward. Philippians 3:13-14 says Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

It matters not who I was, but who I am now and will be tomorrow.

Life is Full of Stages...Which One Are You In?

Life is full of stages. Everyone is at a different stage in life. Some in the beginnings while others are in the end. Some are somewhere in the middle like me. Today, I reflect on several of those stages.

This morning as I was leaving church, I look down at my phone and see a calendar reminder that it is the birthday of my beloved boss, Roy, who passed away last fall. It sort of took my breath for a moment and broke my heart a little more. He reached the end stage of life much sooner and quicker than anyone who knew him would believe.

This afternoon, as the five members of our family head to town in one car (a rare occasion these days), we decide to let our youngest, Jessica, have a driving lesson. She passed her permit test last fall and has driven less than a handful of times mainly due to hardly ever riding with her parents. This is our third and final child to learn to drive. As she enters a new stage of life to learn this new skill, her parents enter a new stage also. Within a short time, with little moments already, we will be empty-nesters. Our children will soon be adults out in the big world.

After this nervous drive to town, James and I attended a visitation for a well-respected, much loved woman. She was 94. Her daughter said, “She sat down in her favorite chair, read the newspaper and went to sleep. That’s a wonderful death, and I know now she’s with dad. That gives me peace.” She had had a long, fulfilling life. While her family and friends say goodbye to her, those same family and friends welcome her 25^th great-grandchild into the world. Here is another reminder to the circle of life, and its stages.

Then, we went to our church’s family Easter egg hunt and family dinner. While I am well beyond the stage of having children who hunt eggs, it is such a joy to share the event with those who have little ones having such fun. I must admit I giggle a bit listening to young parents coax their children to eat more real food rather than cookies, or even eat at all rather than play. Watching them chase the littles to keep them off the food table or trash can reminds me of how quickly those stages pass away. I remarked that I was now closer to grandchildren than babies of my own. Why does it seem like it was just yesterday that I was in that stage?

Life is definitely full of stages. Some come faster than others. We can dread them and worry incessantly about them, or we can choose to embrace them. We can praise God through the storms and rejoice in the sun (Son). If we believe that Christ is with us through everything, we can face tomorrow with hope and joy. I dare not say we won’t have nail-biting times (remember we are teaching the third child to drive) or we won’t have to say goodbye to someone special. I do say that life will continue to go on and we will have more stages to experience. Bring it on!!

To Feed or Be Fed? That Is the Question.

To feed or be fed? That is the question.

I haven't thought about that in quite some time, but there was a time in my life that I had to think about it. A number of years ago, actually over 15 years, I was extremely active in my church, doing this and that, sort of all over the place. Committees, bible studies, teaching, and yet I became disgruntled. I needed "to be fed" spiritually. I began to complain about my church and contemplated changing where I worshiped. Pretty soon, nothing at church seemed to satisfy me. There came a time I finally voiced all of my feelings to my husband James...my ever wise and level-headed husband. His response has stayed with me since that moment. He said, "Maybe this is not a time for you to be fed at church, but a time for you to feed. You can get fed in other ways and places."

What?!? Not a time for me to be fed? Isn't that why I go to church? Soon I realized what he meant. When I refocused my energy and efforts at church to serve others in a more intentional way rather than focusing on what I needed, I was blessed beyond comprehension. And guess what? I got "fed".
Christ came to serve and to attend to the needs of others. He didn't focus on himself and what he needed. He fulfilled His purpose by serving others.

When we put our own wants and needs aside, and focus on those of others, we are blessed. We are fulfilled. We are fed spiritually.

This perspective brought to me by my husband has had a tremendous impact on my life. It has prompted me to carefully choose when and where I serve so that I may be doing so according to the will of God, not what I want or need. If I serve to please God, not to somehow make myself feel good or be fed, then it becomes a fruitful endeavor resulting in me being blessed anyhow.

Rick Warren in his book A Purpose-Driven Life opens with the line "it's not about you." It is about Jesus Christ. It is about having a relationship with Our Father. It is about loving your neighbor as yourself. Those words, along with James' profound insight, has shaped my life and my attitude toward church. When we change our focus from ourselves, we are blessed. Blessed beyond understanding.

Matthew 7:21-23New American Standard Bible (NASB)
21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.22 Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many[a]miracles?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you;